Diversions on Sabbath

On Sundays, all the houses of Hyaets are closed to the neighborhood unless there is an emergency. Hyaets consists of three couples (Greg and Helms, Jason and Joanie, Me and Jacob), and Anna. Each couple has their own home and Anna stays with a roommate in a duplex around the block. We are all in very close proximity to one another, able to see our homes from our windows, except Anna who lives just a short walk around the block.

The folks that are part of the intentional Christian community and ministry of Hyaets practice the Sabbath on Sundays. We close our homes to our neighbors so that we can each rest in our own ways. For most of us it involves attending a home church and then lunch with our immediate families and spending the day unwinding at home, maybe catching up on a few emails and such, but mostly just spending the day with family.

I really value this time of rest and regeneration. I think it is a practice that is not practiced enough within the Christian community.

However today, with the absence of my husband off working, I felt quite lonely. I was here with all my thoughts and emotions and only the diversions of the internet and the t.v. to keep me occupied. And that is just what I did. I used those diversions to keep myself from thinking and feeling. Now I have reflected on this and wonder just how often I do this. I use the noise of this world, whether it be the visual or audio noise, to divert my attention from myself, from others, and from God.

I spent time in prayer this evening while Jacob was writing. During that time I sensed this deep connection to God and to myself. It has been a while since I spent individual time in prayer, other than my short one line prayers throughout most days.

I wonder how different my days would be if I spent a little more time in active prayer and reading of God's word or the words of others who have lived out holy lives? I wonder how much further I would be in my emotional life if I stopped diverting my attentions and paid attention to myself and shared these emotions with God.

It is so much easier to ignore myself than to really pay attention. It is easier to ignore the reality of life. Unfortunately, as I ignore myself and life, I miss out on many joys and beautiful moments. I know this. I want this to change in my life. I am thankful that I have been able to grab a bit of this understanding today and hopefully, with this insight, I will move a little further along the path to loving myself, to loving God more, and loving others more.