My Next Thirty Years

I will be thirty in approximately a month; November 10th to be exact. I am excited and dreadful all at the same time. Excited because I will no longer be in my twenties-Hooray! Dreadful because I look back on the last thirty years and begin to wonder if my life has counted for enough.

If you know me then you know that I am a Type A personality. You know? One of those get-it-done type of people. I can't do a half-assed job at anything and I usually take on way too much all at once. Though these days I have learned the word "no". So then you will also understand my dread at turning thirty and having the sinking feeling that I have not accomplished enough.

I have not accomplished obtaining a degree. I have not given birth. I have not been out of this country but only once to Wales and England. I have not been arrested for protesting.

But then I take a less self-deprecating look at my life and realize that I have accomplished quite a lot. At the young and tender age of 19 years old I moved halfway across the country, away from my parents, and ventured out on my own. I eventually landed a good-paying job and have worked diligently to amass enough experience to support myself. I managed to steer clear of marrying a loser and instead married the love of my life. I have made unique, special, meaningful and cherished friendships with quite a few people that probably know me better than I know myself. I have faced a lot of my demons, stared them down, then walked passed them...leaving them behind me.

There is a country song out there called "In My Next Thirty Years" by Tim McGraw. He talks about doing some things differently and better in the next thirty years. I hope that I can do just that in my next thirty years. At the same time, in my next thirty years, I'm going to cherish the progress that I have made and relish the journey, even the pain, of getting there.